In the United States, 1 in 10 children will experience sexual abuse before they turn 18.

Many researchers believe that statistic is an under representation of the problem. Most victims do not disclose their abuse until they are adults. This issue exists in every community in America-- regardless of economic status, geography, or ethnicity. It is not a problem solved by warning children about stranger danger.

"In sexual abuse, 93% of the time, its somebody the child knows," said Amy Blackman, Co-Assistant Director of Erie's Crime Victim Center. "So it might be their immediate family. It might be the next ring out. Maybe its more an aunt or an uncle, or a parent or a step parent."

Guardians need to be aware that adults sexually abusing children is not the most common occurrence.

"70% of child abuse is actually perpetrated by other kids," said Diane Tarantini, a child safety advocate and book author. "70% of children who are abused are abused by someone a few years older than them, but definitely someone under 18."

In recent years, research has confirmed a direct correlation between watching pornography and child on child sexual abuse.

"So kids are going to pornography, because they can. because there's no parental monitors. and they're seeing things that they've never seen before. and they kind of want to imitate them."

One study published in 2018 says 88% of popular pornography portrays physical violence.

"So we're now having kids show up in emergency rooms as a result of child on child sexual abuse. and the victims are literally saying 'the kid who did this to me said we're just doing what i saw in this video.'"

 

 

5 Action Steps

 

Research shows that child sexual abuse is preventable when adults and children engage in conversation.

"Its really important that we have conversation with kids and with adults as to what our expectations are for proper boundaries," said Blackman. "What are our expectations for time alone with children. What we're going to do if we see issues that we are concerned about when boundary pushing is happening."

Navigating how to start these types of conversations with younger children can be daunting. There is ways to teach your kids language that lets them communicate effectively in an age appropriate way.

First, for younger kids, describe how no one should touch their 'bathing suit body parts'. This establishes body boundaries in clear and easy to understand terminology. Parents and guardians should also encourage kids to listen to their body.

"If you do not feel safe with someone and you're not really sure why, but maybe your heart is pounding, or you're feeling a little sweaty, or a little sick to their stomach," said Tarantini. "if their body gives them signals that are saying 'I am uncomfortable with this individual', their body is their friend. And it's giving them a really good signal that they might want to find a trusted adult."

Secondly, work with a child to create a list of five safe and trusted adults they can talk to if they ever do feel uncomfortable.

Third, teach your child the anatomically correct names for their body parts. This can help them in doctor's offices if they want to describe where they might feel sick or hurt. It also ensures that if there ever is an incident, they can describe a situation accurately with no confusing body nick names.

Fourth, establish open communication with your children.

"today on, or from birth on, always make them feel safe with you. To always make them feel like 'i can tell mom and dad, or my caregiver or my grandparent anything and I won't get in trouble.'" said Tarantini. "I don't need to hide anything. No question is dumb. No question is inappropriate."

Past these four conversation tactics to utilize with a child, installing parental controls on electronic devices protects all kids. Parents and guardians can check if anyone is sending inappropriate pictures and messages- or asking their child to send messages back.

It can also block pornography, which can limit exposure to behavior that children might want to imitate. Explaining why these controls are installed can also lead to the other conversations mentioned above.

Lastly, parental controls can also give insight into other concerning online activities such as bullying or expressions of depression, anxiety, and suicide.